MARRIAGE: Day 19-21 of 30 – I’m a Better Wife Because I’m a Mom

I’m a Better Wife Because I’m a Mom

My role as a wife and a mom is blurred. On Days 19, 20, and 21 of the 30 Day Marriage Challenge I discovered that being a mom makes me a better wife.  As a mom I have to do things myself if I want things done. I have to have patience if I want to teach. And I have to forgive if I want to love. As a wife…

Day 19
Don’t ask him to do any chores or honey-dos.

Besides making money to pay the bills, his “chore” is taking out the trash. Mostly because I prefer not to go outside. During the nice months, he takes it upon himself to do the outside work. So, I don’t have to ask him to do anything.  I do, however, leave hints. Today, no hints. 😉

As for the “honey-do” list, I had never heard of this until recently.  I know I’m not the only woman out there who also plays the role of handy[wo]man in their house. I may need him for the heavy-lifting, but I’m usually the one with a screwdriver, hammer, caulk, snake or plunger.  When we started building our house, he even bought me a drill.  I love to DIY.

30 Day Challenge Accepted Marriage

Day 20
Today’s focus: Patience

I’m a very patient person. However, I lose it when my husband’s driving. I have zero patience for his inconsiderate driving – from unnecessary lane changes, to cutting people off, to merging last minute to exit. It drives me nuts, and I’m not quiet about it. Unfortunately, today was a day we commuted to work together. To distract myself from being a passenger-seat driver, I closed my mouth and focused on liking and commenting on Instagram – come join me.

Day 21
Forgive him when he makes a mistake.

Is it possible, he hasn’t made a mistake today (yet)? Regardless, whatever trivial mistake he would make, I’m generally a forgiving person. I will let him know I think he made a mistake.  But I learned long ago that forgiveness is easier than staying angry. I will end this post like yesterday, with a quote:

“Forgiving someone may cost you your pride, but not forgiving them will cost you your freedom.” Because holding onto anger only hurts you, not them. Speak your piece. Then have peace. 

Most wives will say they have a man-child as a husband or include their husband in the # of children. I am one of those.  However, the skills I’ve grown to improve as a mom are helping my marriage.

Super mom. Super wife. Super woman.

30 Day Challenge Accepted Marriage

Want to read all 30 Days of the Marriage Challenge?  View the Overview page HERE

MARRIAGE: Day 13-15 of 30 – I’m Back! Just in Time

I’m Back! Just in time

We’re half-way through the 30 Day Marriage Challenge and I’m glad to state that whatever was bogging me down the past week has passed, and I’m back! No more dark cloud.  My smile has returned. The sun is out. I took the tasks for Day 13, 14 and 15 with a positive attitude and skipping into the second half with a better mindset.

30 Day Challenge Accepted Marriage

Day 13
Do not use sarcasm with your husband today. 

This reminds me of Day 2 where I had to go the whole day without correcting my husband. It was easier for me to just not talk! I was hoping today he was going to the office, which would make this task even easier to accomplish. No luck. He ended up having to work-from-home and I ended up having to bite my tongue quite a few times.  Sarcasm is just how I deal with life.

But, really? Don’t most marriages, especially with kids, communicate with varying levels of sarcasm?

Day 14
Remember that being a wife is a blessing. 

I know I’m blessed. Like I said on my “About Me” page,  I must’ve done something good in a prior life to be so lucky in this one.” I found what some people spend their whole lives searching for.

For 18-1/2 years we’ve been together.  8-1/2 of those years, married.  Whether as a girlfriend, fiancé, wife and mother of his kids… I’m am blessed to go through life with him as my best friend.

Day 15
Think only positive thoughts about your husband. 

Today he gave me so many reasons to think only positive thoughts about him.

He took the morning off to hike with the kids while I went for a job interview.  Before I left he said to the kids, “Wow, mommy looks beautiful.” It gave me a little perk in my step. Afterwards when I told him I think I bombed the interview, he reassured me but also told me to just keep moving forward. He’s also been my biggest supporter, but also my motivator.  He took us all out for lunch, then off he went to work (looking all handsome).

I’m glad whatever mini-rut I was going through in my head is gone, but I’m not going to ignore the thoughts it conjured up.  I hope that the remaining 15 days of this challenge continue to be interesting. I said I wanted this 30 Day Marriage Challenge to be a fun experience, but not all parts of marriage are fun.  So let’s see what else happens…

 

Want to read all 30 Days of the Marriage Challenge?  View the Overview page HERE

MARRIAGE: Day 4-6 of 30 – Take Care of Them, They Will Take Care of You

Take Care of Them, They Will Take Care of You

As a wife and parent my days are filled with taking care of my family.  Getting our morning started on-time and efficiently, making sure our days run smoothly and on-schedule, and then tucking our days in at night.  I can easily complain about how much thankless work it all is, any mom can – a working-mom or a stay-at-home-mom.  Most days I feel unappreciated and my efforts overlooked.  Sometimes I resent the people I love most because I feel like they don’t understand the heart and energy I put into their lives.  But then on days like Day 4, 5 and 6 of the 30 Day Marriage challenge there are bright moments that make choosing an unpaid career more rewarding than any paycheck can provide.

30 Day Challenge Accepted Marriage

Day 4
Kiss your husband the first time you see him in the morning.

Actually, he kissed me… on the forehead, then tucked me back into bed.  I made a kissy-sound back; that counts, right?

I had a rough night, catching a bout of the notorious stomach virus had me spending more time at the toilet than in bed.  So really I shouldn’t be kissing anyone.  I slept the rest of the day, and he took care of the kids.

I am not a meme!

30 Day Challenge Accepted Marriage

Day 5
Tell yourself, “He really loves his family and he is doing his best for us.”

After finally crawling out of my sick-cave, I discovered my house (when not under my control) is complete disarray! I wanted to turn around and run right back under my covers.  So, I had to repeat this sentence to myself several times while I attempted to clean up after my children and man-child.

But let’s look at the big picture… I was sick and my husband had no issues stepping up.  He took care of the kids, he took care of me and, most importantly, he had the kids learn to take care of me too (checking on me, bringing me water, etc.).  He loves us. He didn’t do everything MY way (the right way 😜), but he did his best. (And not just today – every day.) So, “bless this mess.”

Day 6
Bake, make or buy his favorite food.

This was a tough one. He’s so picky.  And I can’t cook (read: About Me).

He was only going to be home for breakfast today because he’s going into the office late and staying late. So after dropping off my older one at school, I made a quick run to the market. Operative word: quick.  No one got sleep in our house last night. While I’m still weak and recovering, our younger one caught the virus and had been puking since 3am. I got the ingredients to make his favorite breakfast dish – loaded hash browns.  And since I can finally eat solids, I made a little extra for myself.  

Unexpectedly the husband ended up coming home in time for dinner.  He was hopeful that today’s Marriage Challenge task would cover two meals.  He’s lucky I was in a good mood.

Want to read all 30 Days of the Marriage Challenge?  View the Overview page HERE